I Kneel Humbly at Your Feet

Well last Thursday was officially my last treatment! Chemo. Check. Radiation. Check. In 60-90 days I will get another scan to determine if it is all gone. It will be nice to start feeling good again, and for my life to go back to normal. They said it would take a few months for that, but all in due time. Besides, I won't have to spend hours at the doctor's office - waiting...being poked...and all the other "fun" things that come along with cancer treatment. It's almost over!

I want to start off by explaining why I don't post very often. The main reason is because I want to write posts that are meaningful. That are really going to glorify Him, and spread His word. That is the entire reason I wanted to start this blog. Here lately it's been because I have been disconnected. I feel as if I have been so busy lately that I have let all the treatments, end-of-the-year school activities, studying, work, etc. take center stage. And, unfortunately my relationship with God has been pushed to the back burner. Until yesterday it had been weeks since I read my Bible, and although I pray on a daily basis, I hadn't been actively seeking Him. He spoke to me this week, though. Every time I turned around I was faced with the same topic. He put all the puzzle pieces together for me, and showed me what I need to be working on. Humility.

Humility, according to dictionary.com is the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc. By this definition, and the world's standard, I feel like I do a decent job. I always try to think of others first, and I'm definitely not cocky. But, according to God's standard, I always fall short. All too often I lose sight of the main purpose of my existence - to have a relationship with Him, and bring others to know Him. If I want to serve my ultimate purpose that means I need humility - I need to take the me out of me, and stay focused on Him.

I need to guard my heart from the enemy because he knows exactly where my weaknesses are. For instance, my blog. I want to share my testimony in hopes that it will help others to come to know, and accept Christ. I can't let the devil play on my need for validation. The fact that I want others to like me. Because lets face it, everyone has that internal desire to be loved by others. The need for "popularity". Everyone has their own way of seeking it. So, ultimately if I'm not steadfast in my purpose, I can allow him to turn sharing my faith into a form of "self-worship". That is why I have tried hard to not just throw up any ol' post. It doesn't matter how many followers I have, how many page views I get, or how many likes I get on Facebook. All that matters is that He is glorified in everything I do, and that it is truly for that one and only purpose.

I started reading Proverbs last night, and I actually wrote this on a notecard to keep with me. I want to be reminded constantly of what I need to do, and to protect myself from the enemy because his main purpose is to destroy me.

"Such are the paths of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the life of those who get it." Proverbs 1:19

I literally just now switched over to FB, and this was on my news feed (Proverbs 31 Ministries). Couldn't have said it better!