Long Time No "See"

Wow! It doesn't seem like it's been that long, but it's been almost a month since the last time I posted. Time sure does fly!! Life definitely has a way of sneaking up on you. There have been so many things run through my head over the last few weeks that I wanted to share with y'all that I don't even know where to start. Maybe I'll just tell you about my past few weeks....

3 weeks ago was my 5th treatment, and let me say that was my roughest one yet! I ended up missing 2 days of work (I made them up later in the week when I felt better), but it took a lot out of me! Last Thursday I had my 6th treatment, and praise God somehow it was not as bad as the last! Maybe it was because I slept more, maybe because I ate better, or who knows, but for whatever reason it wasn't as bad. It wasn't good. But, it wasn't horrible either. It never ceases to amaze me how each one can be somewhat different. Or, what's even weirder, how the symptoms can come in waves. For example, this Monday I felt ok, and then Tuesday I was almost completely out of commission. My Zofran wasn't working. Zofran!! I only stayed at work for maybe an hour and a half before I gave up and headed home. The minute I got home I laid down in bed and woke up almost 5 1/2 hours later. Whoa! I guess I'm still not really good about "resting" until it gets to the point that my body just says "Ok. NO more." Although I'm not really sure rest can keep you from feeling like it would be better to just stay in the bathroom all day.

Cancer still hasn't killed that internal need to try and be superwoman. But, I have become more willing to accept help because honestly I need it. The last few weeks I feel like I've done good to keep my nose above water. And, that's ONLY because I have such a wonderful support system! I feel like if I'm not doing treatments (or recovering from them), then I'm working crazy hours making up what time I missed doing treatments, and if I'm not doing either of those 2 then I'm sleeping. I've never slept this much in my life. Well, maybe when I was a baby, LOL. But, I just remember that eventually it will be over. God willing, sooner than later. Then our lives can get back to what we consider "normal".

That being said, I had my CT scan on Wednesday. Dr. Reddy told me that if everything looked good then my last treatment might be my last. Whaaat!?!?!? Talk about nervous anticipation. The entire day my stomach was in knots...could it really be almost over? It's hard to believe I've already done 6 treatments. Sometimes I wish mine could've been spread every 3 weeks, like almost every other person I know or have read about, but that was not the case. But, it does mean they're over faster. If they're working. So, I just pray for God's will. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. His plan is ALWAYS better, and even though I might not understand it that's ok. I don't need to.