Aye Aye Matey

Well this last treatment was rough. I felt good Thursday and Friday. Rey and I even got to have a date night Friday. We went to On the Border, and then saw Zero Dark Thirty. It was a pretty interesting movie. It was nice getting a night out together! We were trying to remember when our last date was, and we think it was last Valentine's Day....that's pretty bad! That is on our list of things to be better at in 2013 - remember more date nights!!

Saturday I started getting achy earlier than after my last treatment. I took my daily allowance of Aleve by 5pm, and at 830pm I gave in and took a pain pill and went to bed. I feel lucky that I haven't really thrown up much, but the immune booster is what kicks my butt!! I don't think I can fully explain how it feels to someone who has never experienced it, but it feels like your bones are throbbing, sometimes like they might even break. There are moments when I feel like someone blew up a balloon inside my rib cage, and it and my spine are expanding with it. All of my muscles are super tense and achy, I get headaches at the base of my neck, and sometimes it's hard to grip things. The chemo has also caused my blood pressure to be higher than normal, and Sunday morning I guess the shower was too warm because I almost passed out. Then I started dry heaving. I had to lay back down in bed for a while before I could get back up and get ready for church. But, it's killing the cancer, so it's worth it! In all honesty, it really hasn't been as bad as I expected which I am EXTREMELY thankful for!! 

This week was interesting to see how other people reacted to my scarves/bald head (under a baseball cap). People I know as well as strangers. You can definitely tell those who have experienced this in some way, whether themselves or a family member, because you can see the compassion in their eyes. There were a lot of younger men who I believe were trying to determine if I was a guy or girl. Which is kinda surprising considering I wear make-up, large earrings, and I have a rather curvy figure, but oh well. The night I went grocery shopping I got A LOT of side glances, and you could tell they were trying to avoid eye contact. I would be lying if I told you it didn't bother me at all, it did. I wanted to wear a sign that said, "Yes, I have cancer. Yes, I still smile.  And yes, life still goes on." 

I had a hard time at first with the scarves...it was like I couldn't get them to look right. I went the whole week feeling like I looked like a pirate (see picture below).

I'm a pirate!

I finally watched some YouTube videos that helped me figure out how to wear them. I also discovered that I like the larger ones because they're fuller, and make me not look like I have a tiny little head. I got very lucky because a lady I work with let me borrow a whole box of hers (she went through breast cancer about 7 years ago, so she had all different colors and styles). Bella has had fun helping me coordinate them with my outfits!

After the YouTube tutorials

Thank you YouTube!

Today I went up to the cancer center, and got a free wig. Rey helped me pick it out. I really like it, and I think it's cute, but as I found out today it's hot and kinda itchy. I know I won't wear it everyday, but it's definitely nice to have. Before I forget, sorry for the crazy eyebrows in the pictures! I've been lazy about getting them waxed since I know they're going to fall out sooner or later. :)

My free wig from the Cancer Society

Oh yeah, and of course Bella had to try it on too!!

Silly Bella Bear!!